Tag: Living

  • October Skies

    Autumn Skies

    With Baby Clark’s birth so near, today seemed like as good a day as any to give a quick update on life, as opposed to the book reviews I’ve lately been posting.

    I suppose this is true of any couple, but Gwyn and I have spent much time preparing for our Son’s arrival. We obviously have a name picked out but we didn’t do a big announcement – at least until he actually comes into the world. I don’t much believe in Karma but better not to take any chances. One of the more interesting aspects of our preparations (besides nearly weekly trips to Babies “R” Us) has been coordinating travel plans with our respective families. Gwyn’s family has plans to depart from Indianapolis, while my family will make the trek from Southwest Oklahoma. Given that the baby is not nearly so interested in advance planning as we are, coordinating things has been quite the feat. We’ve more or less accepted the fact that it’s entirely possible no one will be here when he’s born, except for me and Gwyn – unless, of course, the stars align, itineraries converge, and Baby Fodder proves to be every bit the Type-A planner his father is. And really, no one would wish that on him at all. 

    On my afternoon bike rides, I find my mind wandering more and more toward the type of world our Baby Boy will soon enter. As an erstwhile political junkie, given that we are in the midst of the Presidential Election, it’s impossible not to think about the type of country my Son will grow up in. By any fair measure, the political/economic/social state of our union is at a crucial juncture. With my generation facing massive debt, fewer financial opportunities than the generation before us, and a stagnant political system that has offered no solutions, I am convinced that this election will have tremendous ramifications for our Nation going forward. And as a partisan, I’m also quite convinced that the Nation needs a new vision other than the one offered by the current Administration. Naturally, I was quite pleased with Gov. Romney’s performance during the first debate on Wednesday. I think the AP Photo here, more or less sums up the feelings of both sides following the 90 minute skirmish.

    But setting aside partisanship for a moment, it’s interesting for me to think about this election in terms of how it will affect my very near-future offspring. I’ve heard politicians and wannabe politicians clamor for years and years about how elections are all about the kind of future we want to leave for our children. More often than not, I wrote off the remark as that of an older generation trying to kiss up to a younger generation. Maybe a lame attempt to keep granny out of the home for a couple of years, who knows? But as a soon-to-be Father, I find myself asking, “Who would run our ship of state better? Who can I trust to steer us in a direction that will allow my Son to have opportunities that I could not, say 18 – 20 years from now?” Having never really done it before, it’s a strange thing to think with the mind of a parent. 

    And of course, I’ve had many thoughts about the greater world – mostly at night while having a cigar on the porch. Overseas, the war drums beat, though perhaps not quite so loudly, between Israel and Iran. The world watches to see what position, if any, the U.S. will take. Meanwhile, the American embassy in Lybia burns and our FBI teams have only just entered the country, some three weeks after the assassination of our Ambassador by terrorists. The latest question to arise over the incident this week is whether our government actually ordered a cover-up of the whole thing.   

    To be sure, our Son will be born during a critical hour in history. As a captive of my moment, I would like to think that these challenges are unique but if I give my parents’ generation and my grandparents’ generation any credit, it’s clear that each has faced its own critical moments. But as a future parent, the status quo simply isn’t acceptable to me. I actually want my Son to grow up in a peaceful world. Strange, isn’t it? I’d like him to travel and explore other cultures that are currently restricted by the tensions of world powers (e.g., Egypt, Venezuela, even Iran). Of course, there’s actually a self-interested element in all of this as well – for all I know, my Son could pursue a career in the armed forces; he could command a fighter jet over the Pacific (although with his mother’s eyesight, I highly doubt this). He might even join the special ops, and genuinely mean that he would have to kill me if he told me what he actually did. Suffice it to say, if I were a military parent, I’d rather my Son serve during a time of peace with his missions more akin to Johnny English than Jason Bourne

    As a fall air gradually begins to blow across Tucson’s alluvial plain, the only certainty I have of late is the blue, October sky above. As a would be parent, this leaves me extremely unsettled. So much is out of my control and I can’t help but think that I know so little about life. And yet this little life, due in two weeks or so, needs me to help him make it make sense. 

    And so I do the only thing I can: I pray that my Son might flourish, even in the desert of our age. 

  • The Fall

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    Today was the first day of fall here in Tucson. I’m not sure what the calendar actually marks as the first day of fall but it was the first day where a distinct northerly breeze came rolling off the Catalina Mountains with a hint of crispness to it. 

    I’m sure everyone has their favorite season. But as a Scorpio I have always been partial to the turning of leaves and weather just cold enough to require a sweater.

    It’s interesting to think that my son will be here in a few weeks and the he too will be a son of the fall. I wonder if he will enjoy tossing around the football during these months, and whether he will prefer a light jacket over the hot sun of summer.

    I wonder about a lot of things as his due date approaches. Mostly, I question how in the world I can share with him everything I want for him in a single lifetime.

    Does the wisdom of the ages come in a Reader’s Digest version?

    Funny how these timeless questions seem to flow with the cold air of a new season.

    – Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

  • Learning Zen, The Hard Way

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    Apologies readers for a long delay in posting. I’m glad to say that while I may not have built Pax Plena, and though I may have left it in a somewhat derelict state, the site is, indeed, not dead.

    My lack of posts can best be summed up as having an over abundance of time. With Tucson’s sultry monsoon season upon us, I’ve spent a great deal of time enjoying the climate control of our casita, enjoying a glass of bourbon, and reading Robert M. Pirsig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. While such ventures tend to be more rooted in the introspective rather than the productive, according to Pirsig’s Zen principles, the act of doing nothing is as much a virtue as a vice. 

    Pirsig ultimately sums up our state of existence as follows: 

    The past cannot remember the past. The future can’t generate the future. The cutting edge of this instant right here and now is always nothing less than the totality of everything there is. p.289. 

    In other words, this moment is all there is. We can no more plan for our future with any measurable certainty than we can rectify the past through our actions in the future. The best we can do, according to Pirsig, is to appreciate “the totality of everything there is,” and presumably take measures to enjoy it a lot more. This has been my personal challenge this summer. Being one who would much rather be active and about the work of some project, having completed my education and being in between jobs, this summer I have had little alternative than to attempt to purposefully structure my time. For example, in order to pass the evenings, I typically sit on my porch to smoke a cigar. Cigars of the corona variety, take about 30 minutes or so to smoke – assuming one draws-in and exhales, as opposed to merely huffing and puffing. 

    In honesty, the results have been mixed. I find my mind wanders a great deal when I attempt to set aside time for my zen aspirations. I’m sure a better Buddhist would tell me that “I’m doing it wrong.” Still, I find the time is relaxing even if it has not been overly productive in a typical sense. It’s nice to consider all the things going on in our world, to consider the structural challenges to progress that our lot faces, and even to consider the immediate future, to appreciate my wife, our soon-to-be-born son, family, friends, and of course our Pooch.

    I can’t say that this has been an altogether bad summer. I suppose my reticence to enjoy the here and now as Pirsig would have me do is really a reflection of my own soul and personality. Bertrand Russell struck a similar tone in his essay, In Praise of Idleness. My own autobiography might be better titled, Idly Praising, at least so far as this summer is concerned. The notion of idleness is not something I have come to find comfortable, my study of Pirsig notwithstanding.  

    Still, change comes as it invariably must. Fall will be here soon. In the coming weeks, we have a number of major, life events looming on the horizon including deciding my professional next steps, the prospect of relocation from Tucson, and, of course, the joyful arrival or our son in October – to say nothing of the start of Football season, which is one of the ways God shares his love with us. 

    While I have not learned Pirsig’s lessons about living in the now, it would be amiss to say that I’ve learned nothing. I am gradually coming to terms with the unknown. By this point, the unknown is more like an old friend than an apparition. And like the fisherman in my Bonsai above, I’m content to enjoy my shade, and let time work its transition from a future of possibility into the certitude of the past. 

  • Boston and Blue Skies, Smiling At Me

    Boston

    This post finds me sky high above the charming hamlet of Detroit, MI, which is yet further proof that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    As with most Southwest Airlines flights, the aisles run six across and passengers are stuffed into their seats like fat sardines. However, one of the saving graces of this flight is Southwest’s relatively inexpensive access to the internet. Of course, at $5 per flight, the internet connection is maddeningly slow, prompting an unexpected yearning for the good old days of dial-up.

    Chalk this one up to first world problems, I suppose. 

    My travels today ultimately take me to Boston, a city that I have not visited since July 2007. What strikes me about my return to Beantown is how much life has changed. In the city I once called home, I now know almost no one. The friends who once feted my departure are now distant ghosts themselves, having long since moved on to warmer climes.

    The thought reminds me of just how transient life is in one’s twenties. At risk of extrapolating too much from my surroundings, one’s twenties are a bit like all of the passengers stuffed together in this plane. Some people make the most out of a location by finding new friends. Others hunker down and get to work. Some keep to themselves. But the lone commonality that all share is the simple lack of attachment to the particular place. The landing of a five hour flight has a funny way of dispensing with sentimentalities. And that’s how Boston was for me at age 24 – a lot of fun, but completely void of a reason to stay.

    It’s true that I’m not quite thirty. But being married with a dog and a child on the way, and grad school now well behind me, I can’t help but feel a bit older than I am. To be clear, I would not reverse the clock. Living in “The Hub” made for a fun couple of years, but when I left it was more than time to put away childish things, as they say.

    Still, reminiscing does make one appreciate the carefree days of youth – when my biggest concern was making weekend plans, and my most pressing dilemma was whether to visit the gym on my lunch break or not. If only I had made the visit more often… 

  • Updates & Book Reviews for April & May

    Update

    I realize it has been a few weeks since I provided any updates on blogging or any new book reviews here at Pax Plena. Regular visitors may have noticed that lately I’ve put more effort into tweaking the design of the site than actually uploading new content.

    As any mildly narcissistic blogger will admit, this lack of focus isn’t good for a number of reasons.

    First, I suspect deep down, most people don’t really care how the site looks so long as the content is interesting. And yet, my own neuroses have left me obsessed with pushing the boundaries of a minimalist site while wanting all of the bells and whistles of a site made for web 2.0. This creates an unfortunate dilemma: I can sit and adjust html and css codes for hours, but what I really need to do is write and create content for the blog. Of course, if you have any thoughts on how to improve Pax Plena, or some cautions about the aesthetic direction I’ve taken with the layout – I would really like to hear your ideas. My personal tastes lean toward a minimalist design and layout, but I welcome any challenges to my preference.

    Second, my foray into web design and my lack of new content is not without reason. My dissertation is blessedly nearing it’s end, like a sheep being led to the slaughter – to keep the Easter imagery alive. Minor heresies aside, I’ve spent the better part of three weeks doing dissertation stuff – handing in final chapters, doing final edits, checking footnotes, getting feedback from professors, etc. – all in hopes of nailing my defense next Tuesday. My work continues apace, though I expect that the defense will be a curiosity for many in the Indian law community. Most folks studying Indian law do not apply libertarian critiques to the Federal Indian law system. My work tries to accomplish this while building a philosophical framework for advancing Indian rights under libertarian principles.

    For those interested, my defense is next Tuesday, April 10th in the Law School’s Rountree Hall, Room 215 from 10AM – 12PM. During the first hour, I will hold a public lecture about my work followed by a question/answer session. If the topic at all interests you, feel free to attend the lecture, meet me, and ask a question or ten. The last hour of the event, however, is closed to the public. There, I meet in camera with my dissertation committee to field questions, and talk more in depth about my work. Assuming all goes well, after that meeting, I should become the 12th person in the world to hold a Doctorate of Juridical Science in Indigenous Peoples Law and Policy.

    For those interested in my academic work generally, I’m planning to release a series of posts detailing my research over the past year. I hope to get these pieces published as a book at some point, but for now, I plan to share some of the ideas once a week or so via blog post when my dissertation is finished. My hope is to make the posts fairly easy to read so that even those without an Indian law background can understand the issues and begin to construct an informed opinion. Topics will include many of the major problems of Indian rights in the U.S. including – reservation poverty, ambiguous property rights, economic underdevelopment, lack of law and order on reservations, gender roles within cultures, and the role of technology in traditional societies.

    Book Reviews

    Because of my web-design misadventures, and the time consuming nature of my dissertation of late, I realize that book reviews have taken a backseat to mi vida loco. To rectify the imbalance, I wanted to give a quick preview of coming attractions.

    First off, special thanks to Meryl Zegarek Public Relations, Inc. for keeping me in the loop on new and newly released books. Meryl is a top-notch publicist that has the patience to get even miscreants like yours truly up to speed on good books that deserve a second look. Some readers may recall that Ms. Zegarek was my contact to review Ian Morgan Cron’s Jesus, My Father, the CIA and Me. She also very graciously offered me the chance to review Eric Metaxas’ Bonhoeffer. While I am more than half-way through, this remains a project that is still very much in the works.

    So here’s a few book reviews you can expect to read – ideally by the end of April.

    Book Review 04/2012

    Karen Spears Zacharias, A Silence of Mockingbirds: the Memoir of a Murder. Release: April 1, 2012.

    Ms. Karen Spears Zacharias is a former investigative journalist chronicling the heartbreaking murder of a young girl. The story is especially meaningful and touching given the author’s close relationship with the mother of the deceased child, and even the accused murderer himself. Look for a review in early April.

    Book Reviews Nov and Dec

    Eric Metaxas, Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy. Release: August 30, 2011.

    As the title suggests, this book is a biography of famed WWII era pastor/theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer. The author tells a compelling narrative about Bonhoeffer’s life, beginning in the early years of his childhood through his death at the hand of the Nazi regime. It really is a fascinating read. I had hope to have the review done late last year, but life and work managed to get in the way. Look for a review sometime during the middle of April. I owe this one to Meryl.

    My Struggle  Karl Ove Knausgaard

    Karl Knausgaard, My Struggle: Book One. Release: May 1, 2012.

    Knausgaard has been fancifully called the Norwegian Marcel Proust. Having spent some time leafing through In Search of Lost Time, I’m not sure I agree at this point. But the largely autobiographical work is nonetheless compelling, if a bit laborious in places. While I’m not very far into the work, I suspect that each page will be a mini, literary cosmos all its own. And that’s the benefit of such a book really. Sometimes it’s just nice to simply enjoy the language of a work for the sheer joy of language itself. Look for a review by the end of the month.

    As always, thanks for your patience. And stay tuned for more…